Forgiveness, Letting Go(d) and the Grace to Move Forward by Rob Scott, CS

 

Rob…the timing of reading YOUR story couldn’t have been more perfect for me. Just got off the phone with a reporter asking what we thought of reparative therapy, and I told her JUST what you said…I could have copied your words. Thank you for sharing…you’ve encouraged me GREATLY to continue to speak up…even when others don’t like it.

Linda Robertson

To Post author – Rob Scott

August 20, 2013 at 1:22 pm

*

Rob, The Church must atone for its sin to people of color (1926-1955) as well as its ongoing sin of exclusion and discrimination toward the LGBT community and read seriously what Mrs. Eddy wrote about the essence of identity, and what Jesus pointed toward in Matthew 19:12 that social and gender conditions are things we should observe but not judge. If we apologize not for our past and present “hardness of heart” any article lacks meaning.

… CS Practitioner

July 13, 2016

*
…. when repressed homosexuality reared its head after I had Class Instruction, there was no one in my Father’s House to take up the slack or meet the need. But Life has a way anyway! My teacher could not make gay go away! I spent a lot of time beating up on myself.  I was saddled with a lot of false teaching and false human opinion about gayness… We all have experienced dramatic rejections and out castings.  We all have tried opening up only to be “spewn out dispassionately”.  
Name Withheld
 *

A re-share by Rob Scott 

August 20, 2013 at 12:52 pm

 

Linda,

I wanted to thank you for sharing your story with everyone to prevent this from happening again to other LGBT children.

As a gay man I can tell you the greatest burden I faced was family and religious rejection throughout my life. I have made peace with God but have no contact with my family today and have not for years. I can tell you the result has taken a toll on my mental health as I have faced despair, addiction, and even a suicide attempt in college.

I had to listen to the person whom I loved more than anything in the world (my mother) ridicule gay people or anyone she perceived to be gay during my developmental years in high school. I was terrified she would find out I was gay and I had to suffer in silence.

Later, as I struggled with God, I felt I had to throw my sexuality in the garbage can as there was no room to be gay and be loved by God as the messages supporting this are everywhere. What was the result of this thinking on me??? It literally threw me into alcohol and sex addiction. The thought was I’ll just have sex one last time and then never do it again and devote my life to God. This thought fueled my addiction. Why??? Because like your son Ryan I loved God the most. And I felt unworthy of being loved by God for being gay. The alcohol helped temporarily with the guilt and shame. But being gay never went away. I was slowly destroying myself for something I could not change. Like Ryan some bad things happened to me during the height of addiction. I’ll bet these destructive thoughts that were in my head were the exact thoughts that fueled your sons addiction and countless others who are going through the same thing.

As the Chair of the Department of psychiatry once told me “we don’t have a pill for Hope”. I responded that faith and spirituality is Hope that is alive and healing. But not for so many LGBT people for the eaxct reason it threw your son and myself into addiction. God is perfect but those preaching in His name are not so perfect.

No, I don’t condemn you. I forgive you and hope you forgive yourself. You are so much more powerful being a force for good by sharing your story and the numerous articles telling parents to love their gay children. I hope to God they are listening.

It is my turn to forgive my mother and the people hiding behind the symbol of a cross. But most of all I need to forgive myself.

Ohhhh. If I just could do over again with what I know now and love myself regardless of being gay and know that God loves me unconditionally it would have saved me so much heart ache and pain. Perhaps I can join you in sharing these stories so that those coming behind us are spared the wake of destruction that family and religious rejection leaves behind on LGBT children and adults.

One thing I have found that is healing in all this is to blog not only to share our stories to save lives but perhaps to share ideas that are comforting and healing to those left out in the darkness so they can find their way out through unconditional love from God and family.

This is for all those who never had a voice. This is for all those suffering in silence. “To all the gay kids out there – You are beautiful creatures of value and God does love you”. (Dustin Lance Black 2009 Ocar Speech)

We are on the right side of history and love is ever with us.

Truth, Wisdom, Love and Sincerity, to ALL mankind.

Rob Scott
Chicago, IL

Note – First photo below – Hope vs Despair

Which one wins?

The Second photo below- The one you feed.

Image result for sobriety

Image result for sobriety

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s