In loving Memory of Frederick M. Widell (My Grandfather) who died by suicide – Mystery Solved and Lesson Learned.

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness”.

(Isa. 41: 10)


In Loving Memory of Frederick M. Widell (My Grandfather)

Last Edited July 25, 2017 at 07:25 am

by Rob Scott, CS

Please reach out. Speak up. The worst thing you could do is to stay silent.  Years of my own detective work and intuition were confirmed yesterday through a phone call with a relative whom I had not spoken with for years and who requested no further contact after confirming the loss of my grandfather by suicide.

It felt like a double blow after being hung up on during an intimate phone conversation after this relative revealed the tragic news.  There was nothing healing from her or her cold email that followed.


What profits the man [or woman] who gains the whole world and loses her own soul?

Perhaps another lesson here is not to throw your pearls before swine.

I don’t care what celebrity gossip you engage in for a living or how much money you have if you put it above the love of family and core values or make a god out of it.

Healing, to me, does not mean making yourself “estranged” from every family member or treating one of them poorly during a visit and literally put his life in danger.  But you were always good at putting a “spin” on things to let yourself off the hook by denying any responsibility.  But truth has a way of coming out doesn’t it?

Perhaps there is a lesson in the following:

Something else occurred to me today, about how easy it is to shut down and shut people out. To shut out an entire group, a race, a nation, a family, a social group because we have been hurt by one person in that group. It is much easier to shut the door on a whole group, than to recognize that we have been injured by one person, who so poorly represented their ‘group’ and hurt us. I think we have to try to keep the doors open, of our minds, our hearts, our lives, not to generalize, or condemn an entire group for the sins of one person.

Danielle Steel,

Next, this relative says in a published article that you don’t ever want to go to dinner with her.  My brother was lucky to have literally lived after going to dinner with her.

Take from a lie its power to deceive and it becomes nothing, for its very being depends upon its ability to mislead.  A lie must have two willing accessories – one who is willing to be deceived: one who is willing to deceive – the victimized and the victim; if either is wanting, the lie can do nothing.
Mary Baker Eddy
Blue Book  by Richard Oakes


Can you believe this all use to seem “normal” to me until I spent a year teaching English in Mexico.  I witnessed the love for the family above all else there for the first time since the passing of my grandmother and it felt healing.

Perhaps poverty can forge stronger ties with family and faith?  For me that is a price above rubies.

And “success” is all in how you define it.  I learned it before it was too late as evidenced by the tragic loss of so many talented and well loved celebrities to drugs and alcohol.  I don’t care how you try and spin that one.  The evidence is there.

Nobody wins that game.  It is just how far they are willing to fall.


Hollywood isn’t obliged to portray reality—indeed, authenticity is anathema to feel-good shows like Glee– but by whitewashing addiction, the producers are failing its audience of young people, the group most vulnerable to overdose. A tribute replete with sad songs will make the audience cry, but it could also wind up romanticizing the star’s death. So while the episode may help Monteith’s fans grieve the loss of their idol, it won’t help them to understand why they would never want to be like him. This is a disease that needs to be shown with such ugliness that even a face as beautiful as Monteith’s [or Whitney Houston] will make the millions of young people who watch the show recoil in horror.

 Time Magazine

By David Sheff

I may be no “maven” but just a seeker of truth and that is what sustains me now.

But I wish you well, dear girl.  Be careful in those waters.

Now back to our grandfather:

I know God is with my grandfather as he can never be separated from divine Love. He was a well loved man and I remember writing a paper in high school that he was my hero or mentor.  We had a lot in common.

I have hope life goes on and that he is working out his own salvation.  He was a great story teller around the dinner table during the holidays.

He was a fly fisherman, an engineer for US Steel and a member of the University Club of Penn. where he would  ballroom dance to the live bands on Saturday nights with my grandmother who was the CS practitioner.

Unfortunately, he was erased by them after this incident.

Perhaps this is an attempt to keep his memory alive and erase the stigma and not the man.

Perhaps that is one of the motives of my blog which is to leave behind the truth in case they eventually try and erase me like they did with him someday.

Perhaps they all thought they had the last word.

But did they?

Please, never give up on “Hope”.

May God Bless us all.

Mystery solved, lesson learned.


Truth, Wisdom, Love and Sincerity, to ALL Mankind,

Why there is always hope

Sentinel Audio Chat

Diane: Rosalie, the day came when my world was rocked to its core. There was a phone call … informing me that my …  [family member] had committed suicide. When I went to God in prayer I can tell you there was a void. Everything was black.

Rosalie: Wow.

Diane: I had no words to pray, no thoughts to think, I had nothing. At that point I excused myself from the family, and I went into another room to reach out to God with my whole heart for something, for anything. I was actually sitting on a bed and it felt like there was a long, black tunnel, and I was falling down that tunnel. Now I knew as I thought that there was no tunnel. That was an illusion, but that’s what it felt like.

In Scriptural terms, I had to go into the closet and close the door (see Matt. 6:6) on a horrible report, a flood of human opinions and speculations, and a torrent of questions that were plaguing thought. Knowing that a void was not a condition of God’s creation, I took inventory, and what I found, it seemed like just an ounce of childlike hope, faith, and trust. And I was so grateful for that morsel of spirituality which quieted thought and led to a depth of comfort, that no matter what happened next to my [family member], he could never be outside of God’s infinite compassion and care.

And with that tiny glimpse of hope, the sense of devastation gave way to gratitude and relief that God was everywhere present to comfort, correct, and shepherd in progressive and inspired ways the thought of anyone who had chosen to end his life. Realizing the infinite nature of God, and man’s total unity with Him, moved my thought. It healed my grief and enabled me to offer this comfort with healing results to others who were facing the same news.

During that experience of going into the closet and shutting the door, I realized I had a choice to make, and I had to make it fast. Mentally I felt like I was about to crack up, and I thought if I didn’t treat this quickly, thoroughly, and trust God like I’ve never trusted Him before, the world would say this could take a long time to get over a shock like that. But the track record for healing in Christian Science had always been quick, and I trusted that track record.

And that’s why today we’re going to talk about hope that is more than a wish. It’s more than a desire with a slight expectation that may or may not be satisfied. The hope that we’re talking about is a God-given, innate spiritual quality, and that it’s one that everyone listening is in full possession of. Each one has been hard-wired by God with hope. And with it, your expectation isn’t in another person, or in a solution of your own making. Your true expectation is in God, who, having your best interest at heart, tenderly governs, comforts, and heals you.

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